Syracuse, NY -- Mary Nelson thought if she did something positive after her nephew's death 12 years ago, she could reduce violence in the community.

Her nephew, Darryl Patterson, 23, died in June 2002, nearly a year after he was shot five times.

Since then, she has promoted education as a solution to violence on the streets, and has fed thousands of children and provided them school supplies.

"It has not curbed the violence," Nelson said, reflecting on the continued violence in the community. "I don't have all the answers."

But she hasn't stopped trying.

Nelson, who started the annual Youth Day Barbecue in 2002, organized a new effort Sunday to send a message that violence must end. There have been 18 homicides in the city of Syracuse so far this year.

The "Get Your Kids" rally and picnic aimed to bring children and families together, to have a good meal and spread the message that violence must end.

"We know discipline and respect begin in the home," she said.

But if they don't get that discipline and respect from the home, Nelson said, she wants youth to know there are people in the community willing to help them.

Nelson bought hot dogs, barbecue chicken, macaroni and cheese, rice, baked ziti, green beans and cake for the picnic. She also bought $200 in gift cards, which she gave away to children at the rally. Billy Fuccillo Jr. donated a 43-inch television, which 4-year-old Tania Mason won in a raffle at the event.

Mason's mother, Tynisha Turner, 26, of Syracuse, said she keeps her children inside to keep them safe from the violence.

"I can't predict when anyone is going to do anything," Turner said. "You have to stay in the house unless you're food shopping, taking the kids to school or running errands."

Nelson, speaking into a microphone under the Kirk Park pavilion, talked about how an 18-year-old is accused of beating up a 70-year-old man last month who had just bought a newspaper and some food at the 7-Eleven at Valley Drive and South Avenue. The man died from his injuries.

"Ain't no grown up hurt that man," Nelson said. "... We need to take back our community and take back our kids. Make them accountable."

Minister Mark Mohammed of The Nation of Islam told parents to love and respect themselves and their children.

"We have to be careful what we say to our children and how we say it because to them, we are like God," he said. "They look up to us. So when we look at them and say, 'You so stupid, get out of here,' well guess what they're thinking? That they're so stupid."

Parents also need to step up and take care of their children, said Dale Harp, a Syracuse resident and author of "The Day My Dawgs 'Ran.'" He said when a man fathers several children with different women and isn't there to be a father, he is failing his children because it creates confusion. Dale, 62, said that confusion leads to anger, and after anger sets in, "(the child) gets mad at the world" and it can lead to violence.

"Violence starts at home," Harp said. "When a child isn't getting love at home, he runs away. What are you going to turn to if you have nothing? You turn to drugs, prostitution, robberies, murders, crime."

Harper said he was at the rally to deliver a message: "The best thing you can do in the world better than anybody is be yourself," he said. "Once you be yourself, opportunities open."

But he cautioned, the youth must learn patience. And it's up to the adults to guide them along the way.

Harper and Mohammed both talked about the importance of God.

"When you don't know God and don't care about God and you don't fear God, you don't fear nothing," Harper said. "So the only thing that's coming next is jail or an early grave. We are failing our children by not letting them know this."

Mohammed challenged everyone to treat others like they are God. By doing so, he said people's attitude will likely change.

"When I'm looking at you, I'm looking at God," he said. "I want to be wherever God is. God a'int just in the church. God is in the hood. God is in the crack house, believe it or not. God put his essence in everybody. And those people in the crack house, God is in them, they just don't know God is in there. They lookin' for God and find crack and they stop there. If they stop looking for the crack and look for God, they'll find him."

Mohammed said the change has to start at home.

Dionnarae Jones, 27, said she came to the rally Sunday with her 4-year-old son, Remy, because of the ongoing violence in the city. Jones, a single mother, said she wishes there were more alternatives for youth to curb the violence.

"I'm blessed my son loves school and he loves to read," she said, adding that Ramy is a pre-kindergarten student at Dr. King Elementary School in Syracuse.

But she knows not all parents take the time to sit down and talk to their children. "They think communication is yelling at them or telling what to do," Jones said. "It's not. It's sharing experiences and teaching them about making better choices and listening to what their children have to say."

Nelson, who runs the Mary Nelson Youth Center, said she was glad to see so many parents and their children attend the rally Sunday. She estimated about 200 people attended.

"What I saw today is that a lot of parents really care about their kids," Nelson said.